tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22514999995633848792024-03-13T14:52:19.832-04:00Flux Poeticaan Integral Path & Poetry ForumFlux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.comBlogger95125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-53119746450069895712023-09-13T21:53:00.003-04:002023-09-13T23:15:06.537-04:00Blog + Journal = Journal Entry on Fear of Specific Types of Rejection<div>It's been awhile, Blogger blog!</div><div><br /></div><div>Damn.</div><div><br /></div><div>40-some years old and still I quake before the possibility of one specific type of rejection.</div><div><br /></div><div>It lies at the nexus of the usual suspects of identity and belonging, family and culture; but I'm seeing it now with even more granularity through the lens of Attachment Theory and Love Languages as repackaged by *brace yourself* Tony Robbins. As cliché or questionable he has at times been portrayed, he really does have some truly effective approaches to creating meaningful change and achieving goals.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've recently listened to several good podcast episodes of pre-recorded live coachings of individuals in his seminars. </div><div><br /></div><div>I. finally got to the heart of why, despite my social confidence in making acquaintances and dating, my Self (Ego) still shudders and freezes when confronted with income and career-adjacent situations -- both real and possible rejection. Mr. Robbins reminded me how legit, how common it is to build one's Identity (Self/ Ego) on the need for SIGNIFICANCE. To be even more specific, my need to feel useful, helpful, and of service.</div><div><br /></div><div>*See also Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. </div><div>*See also Tony's coaching formula relies on starting with the ability to identify one's top Needs and how they play a role in our personal identity formation. Identity formation which affects our flavor of life (=experience, attitude, and Weltanschauung) and our choices.</div><div><br /></div><div>With that powerful reminder, I took a quick jaunt down memory lane while asking myself if and how my NEED TO FEEL SIGNIFICANT, ie OF VALUE TO OTHERS has impacted what I love and what I've avoided. </div><div><br /></div><div>We know that the need to feel valued by others drives our behavior toward things, and on the other side of the same coin, the FEAR OF NOT BEING VALUED drives us away from things. And when you crave the love of peopleif my identity is so firmly rooted in fear of not BEING OF VALUE...</div><div>.... that helps me understand with sharp insight why I have delayed my career advancement, why I've been so often cautious, and why I have allowed myself to become mildly depressed, sometimes for years.</div><div><br /></div><div>Tony also often coaches that "the behavior of the person whose love we craved most as a child" most powerfully influenced our Identity. And of course, how we interpreted it is variable.</div><div><br /></div><div>Since my mother and 2 younger sisters were the hardest to win affection from, my child (to present) self preoccupied itself with how to gain that love.</div><div><br /></div><div>Those three persons typically rewarded me with affection when I was OBEDIENT, HARD WORKING, METICULOUSLY ORDERLY and PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE PRESENTATION OF BODY AND SPACE, and CHECKED OFF ALL THE THINGS ON THE TO DO LIST.</div><div><br /></div><div>As a result I decided that 1. I was NOT Obedient; my identity became quiet REBEL. Frequently figuring out better ways to do things, short cuts, and learning what RULES can and should change. </div><div><br /></div><div>2. I became irrationally obsessed with order; often sacrificing time, energy, opportunities, fun, health, affection from others in anticipation of these ABSTRACT & REAL BEINGS WHO WILL JUDGE MY PRESENTATION AND DISPENSE AFFECTION ACCORDINGLY. Even when dating or friends with people who don't care about my presentation that much, my identity commands I MUST in order to FEEL GOOD AND WORTHY, SIGNIFICANT.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. Rest and health, fun, physical self care has become an UNBALANCED SEE SAW PATTERN of EITHER SELF / MENTAL HEALTH CARE VS. "WORTHWHILE" WORK. And worthwhile work has been defined by what my 3 hardest- to -please elders value. When they don't or might not approve of an endeavor, I feel destroyed and motivation shrivels. Then I start to feel like Sisyphus; trying to push my now heavy passion or goal up the hill. I often stop so long that I miss deadlines and opportunities because the emotional weight while I fill out the applications , and ask for references becomes SO HEAVY. </div><div><br /></div><div>*See my Green Bean Picking Story and Act / Identity of I CAN'T.</div><div><br /></div><div>LIVE A NEW IDENTITY. DRAG MY DREAM. FATHER - COACH.</div><div><br /></div><div>My Change Engine:</div><div> I have some big strengths to get me to living my new identity. I've taken on seemingly unattainable identities before. I'm relatively neotenous compared to my age cohort, I've overcome mental health challenges, achieved some difficult to attain goals and honors. I'm an adaptable and deep learner. I'm voraciously curious. I want to be of service! And the old version of FEELING WORTHY by SUFFERING and BLIND OBEDIENCE, ONLY DO IT THE APPROVED WAY LIMITS MY ABILITY TO MEET MY NEED FOR SIGNIFICANCE and BELONGING.</div><div><br /></div><div>New Self Way Markers:</div><div><br /></div><div>I am Family: I Always provide the space for and opportunities to create and heal (Found) family; love, trust, reconciliation, belonging, interdependence , UBUNTU, IN LAK ECH. E Pluribus UNUM.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am Teacher: I always provide a space for Empowerment and Enlightenment: especially lifelong learning, curiosity, insight, freedom, growth, happiness, fun.</div><div><br /></div><div>I belong to Europe, Germany, the World: I felt the most belonging in Germany and among international, lower income family-centric communities.</div><div><br /></div><div>WHAT ARE THE DAILY ROUTINES OF A DAD / COACH?:</div><div><br /></div><div>well, this explains my 20s and 30s prioritizing creating a family over career.</div><div><br /></div><div>A. Focus on others and being good to self = Going to bed at a reasonable hour. </div><div>B. Not bingeing chats and shows into the night which are addictions </div><div>C. And Addictions are SUBSTITUTES FOR LOVE AND BELONGING</div><div>D. A Coach / DAD handles rejection by :</div><div><br /></div><div>E. I take care of my body daily</div><div><br /></div><div>F. I Volunteer to help others</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0px;" /></a>
This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-79682215552585610122021-01-24T02:57:00.026-05:002023-09-13T22:03:27.882-04:00The 5th Karmic Law is Not Universal; The Law of Mirrors is Just a Mindful Place to Start <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0px;" /></a> <div><img src="blob:https://www.blogger.com/a11a1242-3a1a-4a69-8408-518a38716ee5" /><br /><div><br /></div><div>This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.</div><div><div><br /></div><div><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><b>At</b> first glance, I loved the simple wisdom of this existential or spiritual principle and knew it applied to many experiences, but upon further reflection, I knew The Law of Mirrors missed something huge, and almost instantly obvious to me.</span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;">But first, here’s a simple explanation of what it is, and how it is interpreted in these modern times: Writer Doe Zantamata says “<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">The Fifth Law of Karma is the Law of Mirrors. It has two distinct parts. Overall, it’s the Law of Personal Responsibility.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span></span></span></div><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">The first part of this Law is that:</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">If we can label a quality in another person, then it means that quality is also within us. </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">This can be good or bad news! </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">Think of the people you know, and think of or make a list of the qualities you would say they have. Be honest. This is just an exercise for you. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">Some people, you may describe as kind, generous, thoughtful, or others you may say are arrogant, self-centered, or inconsiderate. All of the qualities on your list are also in you. This is at first difficult to believe, as when we’re calling someone arrogant, we certainly don’t think we are, too. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">Whatever you believe about someone, they probably also believe about you.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /> <br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">Have you ever been told you were so thoughtful by someone who you believe is very thoughtful? Have you ever been called controlling by someone who you believe is controlling? Or insecure by someone you think is insecure?</span></span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /></span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">In all of those cases, you’re both right.” [The Hiyl.com * Full link below]</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /></span></span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: #444444; color: #f4cccc; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: #444444; color: #f4cccc; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #f4cccc;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;"><span> </span>Of course there is a nugget of wisdom in this “law.” But you don’t have to be a sociopath to identify sociopathic behavior. You don’t have to have dyslexia or be a gifted athlete or artist to recognize or name it in another. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">So what sayeth thou to this HUGE elephant in the room, that the Karmic Law of Mirrors fails to mention? Or is there yet another unwritten interpretation of this law?</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">I think it is a brilliant mindfulness practice which guides us to empathy, compassion, and perspective taking BEFORE WE CRITICIZE or COMPLAIN. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">HOWEVER, even if you consider DoeZ’s interpretation, ie, adding the concept of Reflected INTENTION, and not just action, it still has a big ole blindspot. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">The elephant in the room that seems immediately obvious is that The Karmic Law of Mirrors wouldn't apply to the Master, the Expert, the Wise, or the Intuitive Genius, esp. of human behavior, spirituality, or psychology. I concede that at times a Wise Master can have a weak moment and judge from their shadow side, misinterpreting the intention or hidden circumstances behind another’s behavior. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">But to be at that Expert level, by definition they should be able to reliably and correctly identify symptoms, patterns, and often discern hidden intentions which are common to all humans. Humans have a limited number of basic wants and needs, and we have a limited range of coping strategies when we struggle to fulfill those needs. An empathic/ emotionally intelligent person can observe behavior patterns and at least narrow cause and effect down to a shortlist, again, without currently struggling with the issue they have identified in another. </span></span></span></div></div></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: #444444; color: #f4cccc; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">If this Karmic Law included a clause that stated "we must first *truly understand* or *once have experienced* a quality before we can *truly identify* it in another," then this law could approach universality.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: #fdfaf0; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: #fdfaf0; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 14px;">*</span><a href="https://www.thehiyl.com/2012/03/karma-law-5-law-of-mirrors.html?showComment=1611473366946#c6687832902164010284">https://www.thehiyl.com/2012/03/karma-law-5-law-of-mirrors.html?showComment=1611473366946#c6687832902164010284</a></div>Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-17447456000191645832020-08-13T00:57:00.001-04:002020-08-13T00:57:26.628-04:00Every Paradise is Spoiled. Utopia, Imperfection, and the Human Condition<div><div>Thoughts after watching the German Netflix series DARK: </div><div>Jedes Paradies ist verdorben. Jede Utopie ist verkommen, denn das Größte der menschliche Schöpfung u. Kreativität erfordert Imperfektion, Fehler, u. Zufall.</div><div><br /></div><div>Das was uns meist verbindet ist dieses Nexus von Kreativität und Imperfektion.</div><div><br /></div><div>Humans cannot exist in an ideal state such as utopia, paradise, or nation of complete peace, beauty, or freedom from injustice or affliction. Just like a vacuum, perfection is not afforded by the nature of living things, our biology or our thoughts. </div><div> It’s best that we love and embrace the creative friction of our reality, rather than resisting and shaming our flawed nature. </div><div>We can only truly gain any control over our flaws when we stop loathing them, and when we are informed by them.</div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW-EhDJ3LQfTaSr-hHRiZGgdPzez4Zjd4J82krBTd05xebD-eaS0yMHrGJRjJVq2BBS5_B7pG4e6WOvNkw-j_c9nOEdkiANrOGtOv0HZ4y6eWGJ4s0_L5YljR0odO9ZJRvPeIV_O-h7RR3/s275/0E92622A-330D-4535-823C-FF0186123395.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="275" data-original-width="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW-EhDJ3LQfTaSr-hHRiZGgdPzez4Zjd4J82krBTd05xebD-eaS0yMHrGJRjJVq2BBS5_B7pG4e6WOvNkw-j_c9nOEdkiANrOGtOv0HZ4y6eWGJ4s0_L5YljR0odO9ZJRvPeIV_O-h7RR3/s0/0E92622A-330D-4535-823C-FF0186123395.jpeg" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0px;" /></a>
This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-24393133625987366812020-08-13T00:43:00.003-04:002020-08-13T00:43:54.050-04:00Gratitude Challenge Day 3: Favorite Sounds<div><div>5 min gratitude journaling challenge, day 3/30. Today’s prompt is Favorite Sound: </div><div>Most of the sounds that came to mind today are calming and soothing. Other days they are pulsing and exciting. At certain times I need to hear and feel certain things. </div><div><br /></div><div>I notice that for some reason I feel very grounded by sounds that remind me of my place in the universe: </div><div>My small, fleeting existence seems paradoxically significant because how rare and special it is to observe, comprehend, feel and reflect on the infinite. These moments feel electric and tingling, ominous, and calming all at once. The mix of emotion echoes the juxtapositions of vastness and smallness, infinite and finite. The universe and me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Today I thought of the sound of waves against my canoe or boat hull. The voice of my first love. The beating whoosh of large wings both felt and heard - an eagle, a goose, an owl, a vulture. The echo of a loon and the call of a mourning dove, spring peeper frogs, katydids, gentle rain on my tent or window, wind quaking the leaves, thunder, the crash of waves and the howling wind at night. The hush after a deep snow.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0px;" /></a>
This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-28428434331390807392020-08-12T19:12:00.012-04:002020-08-13T00:27:41.210-04:00Toward Resilience, Self Esteem, and Emotional Education in America<p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Some parents, caregivers, and teachers enable a child’s ego to develop in a mostly stable way, which bolsters their emotional resilience in the face of failure, situational stress, and contradiction. </span> <span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">They “fill the child’s bucket,” to cite an SEL-based children’s book by Carol McCloud [Have You Filled a Bucket Today?] </span> <span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Yet other caregivers don’t even realize that they’re teaching children to doubt themselves, to have limited self esteem, to feel that something is wrong with them, and so shame grows. </span> <span style="font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">In so doing they teach a child to value the input of others over their own self-evaluation, including the inability to forgive oneself. There has been some improvement in the overall emotional resilience in American youth, with the increasing popularity of social emotional education in public school curricula. But we are behind many other countries and cultures which have had decades of humanistic education and anti-shame parenting [citation needed]. </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Self perception, mindset, and attitude are greater determinants of whether an individual sees themself as having failed or succeeded at something, or identifying as a success or failure in life. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The capacity to remain emotionally secure and stable regardless of success, failure, or social feedback is known in the field of education as <i>resilience</i>. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>In psychological terms, the <i>locus of [self] control</i> is external versus internal [Rotter, Judge, Locke, Durham].</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;"><i> <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>“Locus of control is one of the four dimensions of core self-evaluations – one's fundamental appraisal of oneself – along with neuroticism, self-efficacy, and self-esteem.[3] The concept of core self-evaluations was first examined by Judge, Locke, and Durham (1997), and since has proven to have the ability to predict several work outcomes, specifically, job satisfaction and job performance.[4] In a follow-up study, Judge et al. (2002) argued that locus of control, neuroticism, self-efficacy and self-esteem factors may have a common core.[5]”. [wikipedia]</i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">For the sake of brevity, I’ll call this the “self nexus.” <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>In the vernacular, we talk about this core or nexus with terms like ego, self-love, confidence, and self-trust, acceptance, resilience; and conversely, insecurity, weakness, anxiety, and shame. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;"> <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I think it’s unfortunate that for years self-help gurus, career trainers and managers, motivational speakers, teachers, and even therapists have often neglected to teach self-love and (self-)forgiveness.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">We’re taught that to reach goals and dreams we have to use positive self talk, visualization, we have to put the past in the past, plan and communicate effectively. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Some of these lessons and practices approximate the nexus of Self-Love, Trust, and Esteem. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But unless you already have a healthy ego / positive self nexus, most of this self-development education will be unsustainable. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Many trainers and authors provide the by-now-cliche examples of Churchill, Edison, Gandhi, among many others, of how it’s possible and powerful to be persistent and resilient in the face of failure. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But essentially they’re really providing parables about the importance of self esteem. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>For it’s almost impossible to continue in the face of repeated failure without a positive self nexus.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">And while resilience comes easily for us in some challenges, it can be altogether lacking in others. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We may use our strengths and our positive nexus in one area to compensate, hide, or ignore our shame and fear of other competencies we’ve never developed. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Since the presence of self esteem is only occasionally completely pervasive across an individual’s competencies, most of us make it through life without ever having to address or mention our pockets of incompetence or self loathing. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Regardless of an individual’s measured and ranked abilities, it’s their self perception of their ability which most determines performance and perceived feelings of well-being and satisfaction over time. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>In relationships, emotional, physical, and intellectual competencies, our acceptance and even appreciation of our limitations and mistakes brings the maturity and confidence that only results from this positive self awareness. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">That is why wise people have urged self-knowledge for millennia; but not merely to be able to avoid our shortcomings, but to embrace them. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>When we can embrace shortcomings, so are we better equipped to lead, work well with and appreciate the contributions of others. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">Take some time to observe yourself and others: <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>you will start to notice that those who seem most ungrateful or resistent to contribution, or conversely, too dependent upon it, <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>are those who fear most their own limitations.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px;"><span class="s1" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial; font-weight: bold;">These among many others are reasons why we need more and better opportunities for esteem-based learning for people regardless of age. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>There will almost always be areas in which one may desire to increase one’s capacity, comfort, and confidence.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 4px; min-height: 25.1px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s1" face="" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: arial;"><span class="s2" face="">This work is licensed under a </span><span class="s3" face="" style="text-decoration: underline;">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</span><span class="s2" face="">.</span></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #454545; font-family: ".sf ui text"; font-size: 19px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22.7px;"><span class="s2" face="" style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 19pt;"></span><br /></p>Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-63018533165296761332020-07-27T01:15:00.003-04:002020-08-13T00:14:52.645-04:00Emotional and Intellectual Slavery is Unconsciously Pervasive in Liberal, Democrat, and Libertarian Behavior & Communication, not Just in Conservative Ideology: How Our Authoritarian American Culture perpetuates political, economic, physical, and mental feudalism. -by Tim Freeman - Sirtosky<br />
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[Reader's note: the CAPS are for readability and highlighting for special attention for people with ADHD, Dyscalculia, and Dyslexia]<br />
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<br /> I was raised like thousands or millions of children (culturally Euro-centric (Catholic)) by parents who view/ed themselves as upwardly mobile, educated, and morally virtuous. We were raised to aspire to saint-like behavior; humility, self-sacrifice, and deference to authority. But this was essentially a LIE because this culture of acceptable personal shame leads to vice, not virtue. Mild guilt may encourage the development of pro-social morals like cooperation, but shame has been proven to teach silence, non transparency, and secret self-loathing, which are “values” that always undermine the principles of democracy. And in the United States, and the United Nations at least, our governing documents say that we are dedicated to a starkly DIFFERENT SET OF PRINCIPLES (values). While much of Americans' most important childhood social learning is grounded in the acceptance of self loathing and authoritarianism, our nation asks us to aspire to self-determination, self-esteem, scientific transparency, critical thinking, AND EVEN THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS! [Insert here dozens of supporting quotes and scientific studies from antiquity to the present*] <br /><br />How can children who deeply internalize shame, and readily submit to and accept those who shame mature into adults who act democratically? They can’t and they don’t. Not unless they arduously re-educate and heal the emotional trauma and generational abuse they were taught. The founders of our nation, as well as other people who apply basic logic and observation, have written and spoken continuously that having a secretly self-loathing and easily-guilted flock of mental child-slaves* is antithetical to freedom, justice, equality, democracy, and a relatively stable society (*Socrates, Plato being among the first). <br />In fact, I believe much of the modern western ideology behind democracy can be summed up by the Socratically-influenced motto of St. John’s College in Annapolis + Santa Fe: “Facio liberos ex liberis libris libraque.” Or “I make free adults from children [or slaves] by means of books and a balance.” Education and good judgment (aka critical and scientific thought) sets us free, makes us mature citizens, and responsible patriots.<br /><br />But even though Catholic kids are usually taught to be always thoughtfully conscientious to others, this pro-social idea is poisoned by IGNORING, DISTRUSTING, and LOATHING our INNER VOICE, HAPPINESS, and POSITIVE SELF-SOURCE. So that the source of our feeling of worth, acceptance, and validation could only come from those who our families, churches, and communities deemed as the elders / gate-keepers / judges… <br />
So the young people are trained to perpetuate the cycle of generational abuse by enabling culturally-approved authority figures, no matter how abusive, sociopathic, narcissistic, mentally disordered, or socio-emotionally crippled and irresponsible they are. TEACHING CHILDREN TO BE SILENT + SELF LOATHING IS HOW ATROCITIES ARE COMMITTED, no publicity or declaration of war is necessary. When we teach kids shame we help commit a silent genocide of love and value of the self, and the semi-suicide/deicide of the goodness and God-spark we are all born with.<br /><br />The most perfect metaphor in recent lore of this now self-evident and scientifically-provable phenomenon is in JK Rowling’s <u>Fantastic Beasts:</u> The Obscurus is the warped, broken, and self-hating demon that results from suppressing our inner light and imperfect specialness. In this case, magical ability. We become numb to the path that leads us to confidence and complete Self Actualization and satisfaction in life. When our locus of control is external and not internal we will never find lasting true love and peace, because that can only comes from within. <br /><br />
How many humans still ignore (even Catholic) writers and scholars have to tell us that no matter what you call God or Goodness -the Universal-Goodness-Value-Love (no matter the religion or belief system) can only be realized when the source is within? True “Charisma” (alignment with God), that tongue-of-fire, that inspiration (life breathed into) is only a co-creation with the Universal / Infinite Source. If the ideas, love, values, trust, and judgment only come from outside yourself, then you’re still an unenlightened mental subordinate. God and nature speak not just to us but through us. To fail to cultivate that inner voice and trust is a refusal to grow and build a complete relationship with God and nature.<br /><br /> It’s this EXACT CONCEPT of INNER WISDOM, TRUST, and VALIDATION that Billy Atwell and all emotionally mature / wise people know and try to teach. From Jesus and the other non-power-hungry sages of the Bible (like Ecclesiastes and Thomas) to Buddha, to the Secret, to Taoist Lao Tzu, to a handful of modern Christian preachers, to the Quakers, and dozens of self-help writers and gurus of all nationalities and faiths- they are trying to empower the DEMOCRATIC self-organizing principles of the ENLIGHTENMENT: SELF-EVIDENT and UNIVERSAL TRUTHS that ALL HUMANS ARE CREATED EQUAL and HAVE UNALIENABLE RIGHTS of LIFE, FREEDOM, and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. These concepts are and will always contradict those who perpetuate their authority through blind acceptance - those who govern through paternalistic command.<br />
<br />Most managers, teachers, leaders, and parents who even consider themselves moderate, liberal, Libertarian, or Democrat are typically unaware that their leadership style comes from a master/slave mindset the pre-dates Enlightenment or ancient democratic ideals. It is a MODERN ironic tragedy that most adults cannot distinguish, much less change, their own medieval leadership and communication style, if they can even recognize and correctly name it in others.<br /><br />It is this vast ignorance and lack of vernacular (popular vocabulary) on the part of liberals, moderates, and conservatives alike that is cherished and encouraged by most of the economic elite. It's a great tool for creating social division, apathy, and helplessness among those that could change and completely democratize the United States. Sadly even well-intentioned liberals often rely on the cooperation of those lower in the hierarchy to accept their authoritarian egotism: lack of transparency, being closed to feedback, assumed intellectual and moral superiority. In an age of an authoritarian American presidency unchecked by the Senate, in addition to decades of social dominance by the economic 1%, it cannot be repeated enough: that this is NOT AN ISSUE of GOOD vs EVIL, good vs evil is only relative to your political and religious ideology), but IT IS A UNIVERSAL ISSUE OF SLAVE SOCIETY vs DEMOCRACY.<br /><br />If our institutions, especially education, primarily relied on emotionally and intellectually democratic ideals, I believe most inequalities would cease to exist within a generation or two. Our systemic racism, xenophobia, able-ism, chauvinism, gender/hetero/sexism, religious fundamentalism, ageism, and classism would start withering at a pace heretofore unseen in this country. <br /><br />While I have grasped the cultural AND psychological dynamics of shame intellectually, I, like many others who seek to heal, love, and value themselves have been missing the crucial/ essential key (sonic screwdriver?) to break out of this mental slavery. I finally got it during my hour-long conversation with Billy Atwell, who encouraged me to realize that I just need to make a daily practice of RELEASING my feelings of resistance, control, regret, tension, and free-floating anxiety while learning and practicing SELF LOVE + ACCEPTANCE (also known as TRUSTING YOURSELF and YOUR INTUITION). Since that moment of realization, I have been falling in love with myself because I gave myself permission to stop second guessing my judgments, my imperfections and mistakes. I see that there are still a few places in my life where I actively distrust myself and so I tend to hold back and remain passive instead of communicating and going for what makes my heart sing. Whether it is being forthcoming about my skills, abilities, or lack thereof, supervisors, interviewers, and lawgivers are fundamentally just as flawed and are just as “right” as me. And just because there are few others like me doing what I do, especially in my current environment, it does not mean that I need to feel that something is wrong about where I am, what judgments I’ve made, and what direction I’m going. As long as I’m growing and intending to do and be GOOD in such a way that does not harm others (and most likely benefits everyone in the long run) [* see Kantian ethics/ Categorical Imperative, the Golden Rule, and Mutualism]<br /><br />How did I not see that the point of all this healing, therapy, self-work, prayer, and meditation is to love and trust myself!? I think that’s the power of how our culture conditions authoritarianism within me and you. I consider myself well above average in emotional intelligence and sensitivity, and yet it took me till age 40 to get to this exciting and wonderful relationship with myself! So I know this can’t be an easy truth to realize, even for the brightest and best of us. This is why wise teachers and leaders must be bold and outspoken if we are to destroy emotional, intellectual, political, and economic slavery. <br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-37873313476226157192020-06-25T19:27:00.004-04:002020-06-25T19:27:39.856-04:00Ode to My Sisters<br />
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Ode to my sisters<br />
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I’m so sorry for any words that may have hurt you unnecessarily or unfairly. But this is not just an apology.<br />
This letter is a reckoning. This is not a letter of blame. Blame does nothing but foster resentment and allow wounds to fester forever.<br />
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I think a complete reckoning includes thorough discussion of circumstances, apologies, gratitudes, and intentions and commitments for the future.<br />
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Given that there are decades of Past and contentions over what is acceptable words & behavior, I want to speak my gratitude and acknowledge my responsibility first.<br />
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I own my imperfections of memory, lack of timeliness, at times being sanctimonious about my intelligence, politics. I acknowledge that I broke with tradition by resisting and often challenging Mom’s authority while expecting her financial support. Although I’ve received much less financial support than many others in our extended family, some of whom you befriend and value.<br />
I acknowledge that instead of just working my ass off and suppressing or transferring the shame that I was taught, I chose to wrestle myself away from patterns of abuse toward acceptance and healthiness, even if it meant living inside my resentment for too long, hesitating at job and academic opportunities, and working on healing myself and my confidence instead of just powering through life by sheer force of will and emotional denial.<br />
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I also own that until 20019 I held out hope that I could play and win at the game of being a successful and valued child and sibling. I didn’t think I was still playing that game, but it’s so firmly programmed and lurks in undiscovered corners of our minds. If I had realized years ago that I still held a secret hope of our family being supportive and loving in a healthy way, and that this was a remnant of my learned codependence, I would not be in my current state of wavering dependent self esteem. It’s crazy to me that I’m just now getting the opportunity to learn that a healthy person knows and feels that they are the source of their own goodness.<br />
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sidenote on healing from shame: [I see Coaching as social re-learning, receiving the permission to locate my value solely within myself instead of giving that power to others. As well as reinforcing daily practice of healthy and nurturing habits.<br />
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You guys had to go through so much crap and struggle that I did not. from all the stories from everyone it sounds like there was a lot of survival/existential struggle, & emotionally abusive fighting.<br />
I admire your career tenacity, and determination and even being excellent mothers.<br />
For all that I admire about you, is one issue I wonder if you've ever considered, because I don't recall you ever saying or behaving in a way that would suggest you get it. Despite all the disadvantages, (body) shaming, shit you had to endure, you had one huge developmental &; emotional windfall that outranks any material advantage I may have had: YOU HAD EACH OTHER . Do you know if there are studies that confirm how emotionally beneficial having siblings you're close to , even if you don't always get along?<br />
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It would make a difference if I could hear you acknowledge your blessing, & you're still close to this day. Who do I have? Did I ever have anyone to assuage my loneliness or feeling that I had no one on my side? That no one understood me, to at least verbally talk through the abuse I went through or the constant bullying I received at school?<br />
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For a brief moments Mom was on my side, Mar was often emotionally supportive, Dad was always supportive. But the relationship of having someone in your peer/age group involves a level of understanding that you can't get anywhere else in the world, except maybe in a rare friendship. I hope you're grateful for that exceptional advantage you had. Gratitude is paramount in healing and happiness. <br />
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I AM GRATEFUL that I was spared all those emotionally abusive parental arguments and the torturous divorce that our parents went through. Although mom and dad liked to retell some of those stories, and the highlights are still seared in my memory.<br />
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And while it would be nice for you to speak for yourselves on this matter, you usually don't. You usually speak the automatic knee-jerk Pain Body talk that comes from the seat of fight-flight-freeze response (known as the cerebellum & brainstem).<br />
Everyone in our family has been hearing that repetitious song for decades [generations] especially on the Fulnecky side of the family. <br />
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A reckoning should mention these circumstantial evidences, but not give them the same spotlight as we should/would give a unique or fully empowered or fully self expressed free-willed testimony. Because those are complaints and ideas that belong to most if not all humans. Those are verbalized expressions of the older, instinctual parts of our brain: the parts that we share with lobsters (Dominance and hierarchy).<br />
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The thing that I think impedes us most from being a healthy family (that shares joy & support vs attacks) is how we talk to each other. <br />
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All five of us still attack ourselves as well as each other. Brain scientists, developmental & therapeutic psychologists, coaches, science-based teachers, Journalists, lawyers, politicians base their careers on the FORMATIVE POWER OF WORDS. And they have demonstrated in study after study that WORDS MATTER. <br />
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Words are critical to relationships, to the formation of healthy brains, self esteem, and frankly it's embarrassing how much we use words to harm in our family.<br />
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And there appears to be a randomly enforced prohibition on using positive encouraging words, which is scientifically and psychologically reprehensible.<br />
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If I could help free you from the self hate that you were taught, if I could encourage or teach you to silence your voices of criticism, and to love your body, I would.<br />
Hell, I'm still on the journey, like you.<br />
It would just be nice if we could support each other on that path.<br />
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But I've had to release the notion that one day you might come to embrace me as a full member of this family. <br />
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Michelle and Jennifer have told me in so many ways that they don't feel so much like I'm their brother but more like a distant cousin, because I was born under different circumstances, I didn't see or experience the same exact trauma; although I experienced plenty of it In different ways. Have you ever tried do you understand that you don't have the unique privilege of being the eternal winners of victimhood or that you live your life better than I live mine?<br />
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I'm guessing you think I had it much easier, but if your powers of compassionate sight were clear you could see how probably I was not made to suffer much less than you if any less, my sufferings were just different. <br />
I belong to a different generation, a different mindset, my brain as a man is also biochemically different than yours.<br />
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But it seems that we sibs keep returning, some of us more than others, to a world of comparison, another feature of a destructive way of being. <br />
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I'm ready to put that behind me and so I have to communicate this regardless of whether you agree with it, regardless whether you even read it.<br />
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It's the stuff I'm past ready to confront, forgive, heal, & And reclaim the energy that has been wrapped up in pain & blame.<br />
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Blackbird singing in the dead of night just take these sunken eyes and learn to see/All your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free<br />
blackbird singing in the dead of night take these broken wings and learn to fly/all your life you were only waiting for this moment to arrive<br />
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I also apologize for sounding sanctimonious. Sometimes heartfelt sincerity comes off that way especially when you want things to be better.<br />
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<img alt="Creative Commons License" src="https://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0;" /> This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-46971630792791896202020-06-25T18:58:00.001-04:002020-06-25T19:17:53.503-04:00The Failures of Modern Culture: Observations on the decay of community in nonagrarian society. AKA Bowling Alone Because Everyone Else is Working<br />
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ESSAY: The failures of a nonextended family / nonagrarian culture; and the reemergence of feudalism.<br />
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You know what I find very ironic or just strange as hell?<br />
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It seems that in our culture it's rare for two adults to engage in a mentor/apprentice relationship unless money is being exchanged, or the very least, that one person is significantly older and has the right titles. My attempts with friends to advise, teach, lead by example or even just give biking, swimming or driving lessons often end poorly. I find it's a rare ego indeed that can humble itself enough to trust the judgment of another over their own, much less to be willing to re/learn something new.<br />
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I understand my perspective is limited to the ten-ish different families/ tribes/groups of people I've immersed myself with in Alabama, Germany, Austria, Ohio, Indiana, and the DMV.<br />
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IMHO it's ironic that I've been thirsty and hungry, unable to find the consistent life mentor I've been seeking since age 17. Because somehow logically I would think that there are people out there who would love more than anything to mentor a young person, especially as there seems to be relatively few young people out there willing to be mentored.<br />
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I mean there are probably hundreds of mentorship programs in the United States alone for teenagers up to the age of 18. But after that… If you're lucky enough to go to college you have academic support services. There are professional therapists, and rarely someone in your workplace who can give you some advice now and then. But all of that falls far short of the resources you would have when living near extended family full of wise elders.<br />
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Young parents and even not so young parents are rarely full of deep wisdom, positive mental fortitude & healthy boundaries. So why does it seem like I am so alone in wanting help to make up for the lack of wisdom in my own family?<br />
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I can tell you that if my family had been more agrarian/ extended-family centric I would've been a hell of a lot better off. Growing up around grandpa and grandma, great aunts and uncles, I also know my sisters would not of had eating disorders, we would've had elders to guide our family out of irrational decades-old family grudges.<br />
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But instead elders were always like these very distant angels I had rare access to.<br />
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Any sort of physical or monetary assistance and inheritance just isn't equivalent to golden wisdom, (while I'm still really grateful for ALL gifts and social privilege I've received) <br />
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Part II: The decay of traditional modes of upward mobility and the suppression of community.<br />
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I think the suppression of wages and the enshrinement of corporate welfare in our political and legal system is also to blame. Communitarian values suffer when one is forced to compete and spend all of one's time on wage slavery, that is there is NO TIME TO CULTIVATE PERSONAL or SOCIAL GOODNESS. I have lived in and among people from different societies on the feudal/libertarian-democratic/socialist spectrum. The social differences and patterns between socio-economically libertarian /Darwinistic countries and those where one doesn't fear for survival and spend ;most of their waking moments securing themselves and their immediate progeny have long demonstrated higher quality of life... both subjectively and by raw quantitative per capita income data.<br />
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Most western Europeans can afford to be informed and cultivate socially-bonding leisure activities. And most if not many consistently poor countries have social stratification (CLASSISM) and cultural norms that counteract social or economic democracy. Accepted radical income disparity and the lack of social welfare is allowed by law. No matter how economists and politicians want to slice or dice it, there has never been an effective free market solution that creates or supports a high quality of life or a STABLE, DEMOCRATIC, fair, fully participatory, low unemployment economy. While there have been benevolent and charitable despots (Qatar, etc), peasants aren't guaranteed the philanthropy will continue, the laws won't change by decree when times get tough, or regimes change. Look at history.<br />
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History is also where you should look for proof of the strength of democracy over the unregulated free market. Greece, Rome, vs Persia. New Europe vs Old Europe for gods sakes! The gradual democritization of Europe, and yes, most of the world is not a fluke. The "arc of justice" is not a pretty fantasy (like the never-realized fictions of Ayn Rand or volatile autocracies), SOCIAL & ECONOMIC JUSTICE ARE INCREASING BECAUSE THEY WORK. Anyone who denies that democracy is not the best system for long term prosperity, stability, peace, and stability is not connected to reality. Anyone who denies or equivocates that economic libertarianism is synonymous with democracy is equally deluded. Just as I and anyone else would be VERY ignorant to believe or promote the idea of complete economic socialism or regulation. Economies and systems MUST flex with changing population, migrations, technologies, weather, climate, knowledge, conflicts, etc. That's why we have scientists in positions of power of the SEC, Treasury, Federal Reserve, etc... to provide TEMPORARY and targeted easements of regulation, changes in production and lending rates, and other forms of stimulus.<br />
<br />
Instead, our country has diluted its own overall economic power and security by allowing divestment in social infrastructure and living wages. Corporations are now free range entities with little accountability. They may hurt persons, deplete resources, or worsen communities with minimal impunity, in fact, often less accountability than government. They claim to be creators, and only having the ability to create in a minimally regulated environment, but then they want the protection of the corporate welfare state when other countries also play by those same unethical and dysfunctional Darwinist rules they promote. How can one blame China and other countries for not playing fair, like with intellectual capital (copyright or patent infringement) when such stealing is the exact result of free market lax regulation? This is ignorant and childish hipocrisy plain and simple.<br />
<br />
Henry Ford knew what the New Deal architects and 20th Century Western Europe have proven; that legally binding socio-economic contracts including living wages (wages which enable savings, paying off debts, and an amount of leisure) increases profitability even for the top 1%. It is simply the pointless hoarding (no-flow) of capital within the economic elite that retards stability.<br />
<br />
Libertarianism d/evolves into feudalism. And we see many neo-feudal nations today, most of which are defined by the supressed hopes of millions, and apathy of most of its citizens. Because there is such limited upward mobility, few ever see the possibility to live as anything more than impoverished neo-peasants. Cultural tools such as class, education, language, and race status maintain the feudal economic system. Both the powerful and the powerless millions remain apathetic. Why foster aspirations of good health, education, and material comfort when there is little real democracy? Instead, the permanently oppressed poor tolerate the status quo and spend their time socializing instead of competing, boot-strapping, or climbing socio-economic ladders. <br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-25509926777642077982019-11-20T22:31:00.001-05:002019-11-20T22:31:57.254-05:00Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gh5VhaicC6g" width="480"></iframe><br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-29396098694845982252019-02-08T00:42:00.001-05:002020-08-12T19:34:06.885-04:00My SoulmatePlease refer back to this section multiple times & discuss with me, because I'll assume we are on the same page. And if we are not on the same page this will be a problem.<br />
<br />
You believe & KNOW that LTRs require EFFORT, RESILIENCE, ADAPTABILITY, INTIMACY<br />
Growth oriented<br />
Transparent<br />
Curious<br />
Humble AND Confident<br />
Values constructive criticism<br />
HEALTHY / EMPOWERED MASCULINITY + SEXUALITY + INTIMACY<br />
Resolves conflict easily<br />
Aware of ego triggers<br />
Positive Attitude<br />
Track record of successfully completing therapy (Step 10+ in sobriety)<br />
<br />
I believe the first thing we should communicate to potential friends and partners are our deal breakers. I'm looking for emotionally secure relationships where we are confidently eager for intimate & vulnerable talks.<br />
<br />
While it may offend the aggressive & toxic masculine ego, there's nothing wrong with taking a personality test or sharing painful life-defining experiences to see if you're aligned. Y'all have too much free time if you can spend 3-12 months waiting for your partner’s unresolved trauma to erupt. [then most likely you’ll stop speaking] Many deal breakers can be learned in one conversation.<br />
I know I'm asking for that rare person who is probably a therapist, self-help guru, or one of Oprah's best friends. I know my tribe. I'm here. May the universe (God) bring and bind us together.<br />
<br />
———————————————-<br />
I’m more interested in the integrity of your character & the quality of your mind, your defining experiences, wisdom gained, & goals envisioned-- rather than your degree, the illustriousness of your career, what you own, or the famous/fawncy people whom you know. Our president is proof that there are plenty "successful" people with absolutely no class, character, or integrity.<br />
DEAL BREAKERS (or for any healthy, "gold star" relationship) are:<br />
Looking for friends, preferably a soulmate, soul family/ tribe members who have & seek :<br />
-Self Development<br />
-Constructive criticism<br />
-Intimacy<br />
-Empathy always, selflessness sometimes<br />
-self awareness & experience<br />
-INTROSPECTION & EXPRESSION<br />
-GROWTH<br />
-to be a "FUCK YES" or a "NO"=decisive<br />
-COURAGEOUS VULNERABILITY/OPENNESS/INTIMACY<br />
-RELATIONSHIPS 1st (over career, gym, tech, gaming etc)<br />
-humility & to admit fuck ups<br />
-confidence<br />
-to deal w/ problems quickly, directly, w/communication<br />
-compromise<br />
-full, PLAIN, DIRECT, COMPLETE COMMUNICATION<br />
-being fully present<br />
-SERENITY<br />
-exuberance and silliness<br />
-passion<br />
-dedication to principles<br />
-EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE, DILIGENCE, PERSISTENCE<br />
-curiosity<br />
-healthy romantic commitment<br />
<br />
Looking for very emotionally authentic & transparent, responsible, aware, stable, com/passionate, communicative, GROWTH ORIENTED, men who have nothing to hide, ENJOY<br />
It seems I'm one of the few, but growing voices in the United States who RESIST the cultural fallacy of EMOTIONAL SECRECY, guardedness & slow disclosure.<br />
That notion is based on a false assumption that there is a limited ability for the human heart to trust, love, & heal. The fallacy that a heart broken multiple times is somehow weaker or less able to find healthy, long-lasting love in the future.<br />
<br />
I move fast when it comes to getting to know someone & I'm looking for those with the rare courage for self disclosure.<br />
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Not a long-term fit if you are emotionally guarded or neurotically anxious. Introverts, please be self-aware, communicative, & willing to give, receive & use feedback.<br />
<br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-73760421419041130512016-01-21T03:31:00.001-05:002021-02-17T02:35:57.086-05:00Men's Mental Health, a Psychosomatic OdysseyEarlier today, I typed a list of symptoms and repeating unusual phenomena a friend was displaying into Google, and here is what popped up: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_men_male.htm#signs<br />
This is pretty telling in this situation. It had never occurred to me this might be an underlying issue. I was thinking more along the lines of PTSD for some of the anger and physical symptoms. But this seems to fit: <br />
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<h1>
Depression in Men: Why It’s Hard to Recognize and What Helps <br /><span style="font-size: large;">As men, we often believe we have to be strong and in control of our
emotions at all times. When we feel hopeless, helpless, or overwhelmed
by despair we tend to deny it or cover it up by drinking too much,
behaving recklessly, or exploding with anger. But depression in men is a
common condition. The first step to recovery is to understand there’s
no reason to feel ashamed. Then you can face the challenge head on and
start working to feel better. .....</span></h1>
<h1>
<span style="font-size: small;"> [He is from the type of old school that
seeks therapy typically only in a severe situation. But that's better
than not at all! He does not like directly confronting emotional issues
or hearing criticism, really of any sort. This makes it nearly impossible to say "Honey, I think you might be upset or missing something or your ego is acting like a baby right now." Too harsh?</span></h1>
<h1>
<span style="font-size: small;"> And he is pretty resistant to
the idea that it's pretty standard for humans to repeat the patterns of
our parents - or to swing on the reaction pendulum to the other
unhealthy extreme. Either way, until we have some SERIOUS intervention
we usually unconsciously reenact the past. But I digress somewhat.
Back to the web site that I selected: ]</span></h1>
Men can experience depression in different ways to women. You may develop the <a href="http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm#signs" target="_blank">standard symptoms of depression</a>
and become sad and withdrawn, losing interest in friends and
activities you used to enjoy. Or you may become irritable and
aggressive, compulsively working, drinking more than normal, and
engaging in high risk activities.<br />
Unfortunately, men are far less adept at recognizing
their symptoms than women. A man is more likely to deny his feelings,
hide them from himself and others, or try to mask them with other
behaviors. The three most common signs of depression in men are:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Physical pain</strong>. Sometimes
depression in men shows up as physical symptoms—such as backache,
frequent headaches, sleep problems, sexual dysfunction, or digestive
disorders—that don’t respond to normal treatment. </li>
<li><strong>Anger</strong>. This could range from
irritability, sensitivity to criticism, or a loss of your sense of
humor to road rage, a short temper, or even violence. Some men become
abusive, controlling, verbally or physically abusive to wives, children,
or other loved ones. </li>
<li><strong>Reckless behavior</strong>. A man
suffering from depression may start exhibiting escapist or risky
behavior. This could mean pursuing dangerous sports, driving recklessly,
or engaging in unsafe sex. You might drink too much, abuse drugs, or
gamble compulsively.</li>
</ul>
<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-size: small;">I'm seeing reckless behavior in him in terms of saying intentionally provocative and reckless things intended to inflict emotional pain, guilt, and fear. And requiring lots of alcohol to calm down (like in the middle of the night when there is often insomnia). Night time and tired times are when he is particularly prone to making accusations, often apropos of nothing currently happening, calling names, slamming doors, dropping the f-bomb. Basically he throws a good old fashioned temper tantrum when he's tired. It sounds familiar, but it's a lot more scary when it's coming from a 250-pounder who has a lot of distrust from old disaster- relationships. </span></span><br />
A late night/morning interaction, one of a handful of similar ones:<br />
<br />
He is asleep, I am trying to accomplish tasks on my long to do list.<br />
He wakes up and asks:<br />
"What has your attention at 3am?" (it's 2:20am) <br />
<br />
"Scrabble. I haven't made a move in days so I don't want to forfeit my games. See?" [I show phone screen to him]<br />
<br />
[Long pause] <br />
"Why do you need to do that now when I'm here?"<br />
<br />
"Because you were asleep, and I wasn't disturbing you and you weren't interacting with me." <br />
<br />
"But you could save that for when I'm not here and you could wake up early and we could discuss what you wanted to discuss earlier today when I didn't have time."<br />
<br />
"No one is good or wants to have intense introspective conversations right after waking up and preparing for work."<br />
<br />
He exits room without a word, doesn't return for about an hour. <br />
He returns, stands in the doorway, and looks at me typing on my phone.<br />
<br />
"Who is wanting your attention now?"<br />
[brief pause] "No one.... Just me." [brief pause]<br />
He begins to leave and close the bedroom door. I respond as he leaves:<br />
"I am sending the nightly work email to my coworkers."<br />
"Why do you play these wordgames with me? "<br />
"I am not playing a game with you. I just answered your question." <br />
"I hate you sometimes."<br />
<br />
He closes the door and leaves for the other room. He closes door and sits back down at the computer which he has been on since he left the bedroom.<br />
I get up a few seconds later to check in with him.<br />
<br />
"I am not playing games with you, I answered your question just as you asked it."<br />
"Leave."<br />
"All I did was simply answer your question."<br />
"Leave. I am done."<br />
"But I just answered your question, and I clarified it."<br />
I close the door to leave, and before the door is quite shut, he says" <br />
<br />
"I will be packed and out by the weekend"<br />
<br />
I finish my email, and then head to bed.<br />
<br />
He continues to occupy himself on his computer.<br />
<br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-86634767845735672752016-01-21T03:28:00.005-05:002021-02-17T02:39:37.384-05:00Relationships and Dating, The Breakdown Thereof in a Post-Agrarian Society<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">[ I've been on OkCupid since it first started in the dark ages before smart phones. My profile had turned into an essay of my observations, research, and beliefs on culture & relationships until I dumped it here. Happy reading!] :</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have to admit after dating in DC for several years, I have become skeptical of modern metropolitan guys. Why? For starters, the level of self-awareness is often laughable. Here's a typical, real profile excerpt: "Most people would describe me as a passionate, caring, smart, and hard-working individual. I'm independent to a fault and have been self-employed as...etc etc", but then you read how they answer the questions on OKCupid, or you meet them in person, and it becomes clear that they are as "smart" as the average DC gay, have little curiosity about life, they "care" mostly about their image, job, car, dog, and mom (usually in that order), "work hard" because they're materialistic, and are "independent to a fault" because they don't really get how true friends and LTR's are about being part of a courageously vulnerable, open, and committed team.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I'm proud of my Midwestern rural upbringing. Traditional (subsistence/ non-plantation) agrarian values trump urban values when it comes to teaching people how to be in a relationship; because rural culture fosters pro-social interdependent "Ubuntu" behavior. In contrast, city life is often structured in a way that promotes isolation, superficiality, and materialism. Usually ruralites have to function by the Golden Rule, as they must rely on each other to exist since every convenience is not at their fingertips. That's where they learn about commitment to human relationships, something that appears to me as increasingly rare in urban life. Too many city folk, even liberals, seem to cultivate an Ayn Randian superman lifestyle. That is, a smugness developed from cultivating material self-reliance, and an ignorance of pro-social behavior like friendliness, generosity, humility, practicality, manual/domestic skills, and compromise.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lastly, I'd like to warn against a huge misconception I read in many profiles: Falling in love will not make you a happier, satisfied, or more committed person. Research shows that it is through generous, compassionate words & actions that we achieve the greatest personal happiness.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">[edit]Robert Ingersoll et al. are 75% right when he said, "the way to be happy is to make others so." Surprise surprise, happiness is not all about you(rself).</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You are responsible for your own happiness and your own integrity, and if you are committed to love you will not only fall in love, but your relationship will be much more likely to last</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">.</span><br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-75546128348596463352015-03-17T00:51:00.001-04:002020-08-12T19:34:07.194-04:00I'm Enough: How to Live Life Like a Popstar and Find Your True Self in the Process: Comprehending Judgment<a href="http://iamsirjet.blogspot.com/2011/12/comprehending-judgment.html?spref=bl">I'm Enough: How to Live Life Like a Popstar and Find Your True Self in the Process: Comprehending Judgment</a>: I thought I would take a moment to address the subject of appearance. Most of us know the way we look is based on subjective interpretation...
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-20134445671967246932013-03-07T13:41:00.001-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.278-04:00Criticism and Democracy<div>
Here are some brief thoughts on why criticism is creative and integral to a Democracy. Briefly stated, with the right (Categorically Imperative) intentions, constructive criticism IS just that -- constructive! It's also creative, as I explain here. I'm a novice in political and legal theory, but I've been struck by the muse, and so I offer my version on the matter, not to state anything definitive, but to create a starting point, a "Toward a Model," one that has been and will be strongly influenced by other thinkers and events.</div>
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This started out of a simple conversation which has been a version of many I've heard before. Here's the offending flavor of some people's argument: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Simple fact, if you don't like something on TV, you wouldn't write to a TV channel and go~ "I don't like this" would you? So as you would do in real life,~ if you don't like it, change the channel~ go watch/do something else~ </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">OR: "If you have a problem with America, then leave it!"</span></div>
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First, The Tea Party has exposed the self-ignorant statements of "love it or leave it," because now they have the experience of living in a country led by a two-term president they don't like, and sad to say, they haven't all left the country. The least anti-government/anti-diversity folks could do is secede. They can have South Carolina to themselves, or even Wyoming or South Dakota. They can erect a giant fence around it, complete with guard towers and border patrols, then lets see whether most people will try to sneak in or out. I love the idea of a Libertarian/Objectivist <strike>Utopia</strike> Dystopia. <u>Fountainead</u> indeed! I believe that would look more like :<br />
<br />
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It doesn't take much life experience to know this is ignorant of many events as well as obvious "fan campaigns." Such campaigns brought back cancelled shows such as the original Star Trek, Cagney and Lacey, Quantum Leap, and many more. I should even mention fans boycotting shows for various reasons such as unethical ads, even demonstrations outside the NBC Burbank studios for the killing of character Dr. Marlena Evans on Days of Our Lives! And I still remember the campaign to bring back the "Father Dowling Mysteries" promoted at my home parish. I believe I urged my mom to write a letter, which I signed.</div>
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If done with good intention, Constructive criticism doesn't just tear down, it can lift up, and EDUCATE. It's only when the EGO gets in the way that EITHER people's criticism gets hateful or personal or people take WELL-MEANING CRITICISM PERSONALLY or OUT OF CONTEXT. By the way, it's when people take the time to criticize and protest that DEMOCRACY happens. If we just changed the channel when we didn't like what we saw, we'd all have to start living in our own little bubbles of what we like. Consensus and democracy do cause friction, but that's how the world improves: through a conversation. If the conversation were smooth all the time with no dissent, our world would most likely be artless dictatorships... or worse - boring!<br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-28509719254165019402013-03-07T09:58:00.000-05:002013-03-07T09:58:04.120-05:00Undiscovered?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One of my greatest concerns is that I might end up like a great rare tree that falls in a forest, unobserved and unrecorded. During my life I will greatly delight most in my environment while the insecure and unexamined will be riled by my presence. But when that day comes will my fall create a great clearing to inspire a rush of growth, or will I rot in place as food for woodpeckers, dying with my potential intact?</div>
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-77073970462241738782013-02-24T18:52:00.002-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.378-04:00Self Awareness, Emotional Development, and The Ignorance of Shame ::Talk Back :: Back Talk::<br />
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I am looking for evidence of people whose moral maturity is delayed or stuck in the teenage years, and yet they aren't defensive or ignorant about the fact. Is it possible for someone to be stuck, and yet still be working or open toward development? For instance, I often find that regardless of how caring I may be toward someone who is stuck and may need counseling or some sort of development in a specific area of life, they are usually willfully ignorant, stuck in denial, or just extremely defensive about the issue. I don't consider myself someone who is making these judgment calls in the spirit of self-aggrandizement, or ego protection. In reality, nine times out of ten, the individual contacts me months or years later and apologizes for their behavior and agrees with my assessment.<br />
Additionally, I posit that cultures with substantial components of machismo tend to have more people (yes, including women, like Snookie) unwilling to acknowledge their developmental state, most likely as a function of what <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0">Brené Brown discusses in her work on vulnerability and courage.</a> The macho tends to view emotional vulnerability as a weakness, rather than employing such openness as a perceptive and creative advantage.<br />
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While on the topic of machismo and Dr. Brown's research: <br />
I wonder why so many transformational methods such as The Secret or Landmark seem to pole vault over the issue of shame. It seems to be a case of the proverbial icing over the cow pie. It is so difficult to positively alter your life's trajectory when the deep feeling of shame is not handled, and so many people are stopped by it -- and I believe most aren't even aware that they have shame. I wasn't until I had a set of epiphanies. I have come to read and observe, as does Brené Brown, that many cultures pervasively ingrain shame as a part of child rearing. As a result, many adults are stuck at the often unconscious level of self distrust or disgust that they learned as children. This perpetuates the cycle of shaming and hiding shame in adult relationships -- in the form of codependency or emotionally manipulative or degrading parenting.<br />
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I'd love to hear your observations!<br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>. Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-76819646358937867942013-02-23T21:21:00.000-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.473-04:00I Pique You! Neat Stuff from the Last 4 Months.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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AND NOW IN REVERSE! 2012 :<br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-88640884872520891762013-01-30T11:45:00.001-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.578-04:00"Házunk előtt kedves édesanyám"<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hXNWbGNSeRQ" width="480"></iframe>
<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0;" /></a>
This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-19500630043007777122013-01-30T11:43:00.001-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.669-04:00More Hungarian Fun<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0px;" /></a><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Txr96m_7bM8" width="459"></iframe><br />
How my great grandparents got down when they were back in the homeland. Magyar Állami Népi Együttes, néptánc páros <br />
This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-69921354615676619972013-01-30T11:26:00.001-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.757-04:00Hungarians Getting their Folk Groove on:<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0px;" /></a><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZoLrC5VhMrE" width="480"></iframe><br />
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: Szólótánc Gála - Füzesi ritka és sűrű fogásolás <br />
This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-15063221195340739782013-01-29T02:03:00.001-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.871-04:00<br />
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Shame: I am Bad, I am a Mistake. Guilt: I did something bad. Vulnerability. Hiding. Fear of Failure. (Fertilizer+Seeds: Secrecy, Silence, Shame) It's seductive to sit on the sidelines until you feel perfect. But we want to see you dirty in the arena.<br />
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Self Worth. Being Found. Courage. Being of Service. (Antiseptic: Empathy). Worthy people have the courage to be imperfect, and fully embrace vulnerability.<br />
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Prussian Virtues. Excluding obedience are adaptive. Shame and absolute obedience lead to extremism and genocide. A study showed that<br />
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Fear of Failure: The world doesn't understand that the outliers are those who have continued to fail miserably, and they aren't afraid to fail. They don't know, do they want to talk about this because of shame<br />
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Teddy Roosevelt said: <br />
<span align="justify" style="font-size: medium;">It is not the critic who counts; not the man who
points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds
could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is
actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and
blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and
again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but
who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms,
the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at
the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who
at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so
that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who
neither know victory nor defeat.
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-43541630918619216672013-01-10T03:56:00.001-05:002013-01-10T14:18:39.781-05:00More than Art: Kipling and Professionalism in an Increasingly Credentialed Culture<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">In what follows, I pose a challenge to you, my dear readers and conversants, to consider what it is to be a professional. And I hope to hear your responses. Rudyard Kipling provides a searing review of art and professionalism in his poem,</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> </span><u style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Conundrum of the Workshops</u><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: medium;">. His poem brings this post to a close, following a brief look into Kipling's own background and philosophy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">As an insatiably curious beast, jack of all trades, polymath, dilettante, self-obsessed, immodest dreamer (however you might address me), I often wrestle and rant over the idea of "professional."</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Question One: Is a professional someone who earns money for her craft? What percentage of her income must be earned in this pursuit until she is a professional tiddly wink player?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Question Two: Must you have a degree, accreditation, or must you be published?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">It appears we now live in a world of self-published individuals, each of us a mini media mogul of our blog, youtube, and facepage, each lording over our one pixel in the digital collage of humankind. And now droves of people of all ages are turning to</span></span><span style="color: #000066; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> <a href="http://www.openculture.com/2013/01/65_moocs_certificate_courses_getting_started_in_january.html">MOOCs: Massive Open Online Courses.</a> </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Ivy Leagues leading the charge to offer their courses to anyone who understands enough English to complete the coursework! Some of these courses offer their own certification of completion.</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">But there is a significant backlash to this increasing availability of knowledge and DIY spirit. New professional associations are unceasingly coagulating from the primordial ooze of unlicensed amateurs. Their message: you must have letters at the end of your name in order for you to be trusted and to water at the shrinking pool of clients/customers. Only the most naïve would deny that commodification drives professionalization. And to be frank, commodification is an extension of hoarding. And hoarding is derived from such base emotions as fear, however justified and rationalized by economic nomenclature.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I must agree that there is an endless list of reasons for professionalization of skills, and many are beneficial. I want to know that my dentist is not wholly self taught. Despite all the economic and safety reasons, there is one thing that professionalization ultimately cannot guarantee: Skill. I can't tell you how many failing teachers, harmful physical and psychological therapists, and barely helpful accountants I have met. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Here is the conundrum: A certification does not make you good. It means you jumped through some hoops and shelled out a good bit of money to clear the threshold:</span></span><br />
<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512351901193696514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyT3dsCjQw8uViQZUm5YHqMLLTvk4sVLveXkSut4tSwc3qxBrVYhtYkH7OthBrFpbOE3Ixf18-H4snrKPFQBey2M97aLyyKGaFUjAaKnYP62YuHd4eRB9lsOUvh_b2HUswU_I3SNNFUus/s400/Adam+Smith.png" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c;">"Matters of economic policy should be reserved to a priesthood with the correct post-doctoral credentials, which would of course have excluded David Hume, Adam Smith, and arguably John Maynard Keynes (a mathematics graduate, with a tripos foray in moral sciences)." ~ <a href="http://www.humblelibertarian.com/2010/08/fed-economics-bloggers-are-stupid.html">From the Humble Libertarian </a></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I hope we take the time to consider this inquiry. I am taking on my own challenge, as I hope you do, to observe unlicensed workers and consider them for their talents. Where do we ultimately draw the line for necessity of credentials?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">So, what does Rudyard Kipling have to say about professionals and artists, writ small or large? And how did his social position and upbringing influence his insightful evaluation?</span></span><br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">"Rudyard Kipling was never one to accept accolades for his work. He was, I'm sure, called an artist by many, but refused to make a distinction between craftsmen and artists. He refused honors most of his life, and I rather think he did so because he saw himself as one of the people for whom he wrote. He was a commoner in his own eyes and resented being elevated above the average man. He was capable of the aires of the upper middle class, but also loved the music halls, placing him at elbows with many of the lower classes. Match that with all the years he spent as correspondent travelling with Her Majesty's Boys in Red, and we see an appreciation for the commoner, and less so for the elevated.</span><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My take on the conundrum? He's thumbing his nose at "artistes" in general, trying to distance himself from them." </span><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">~Bruce Graham, 2007, from an online poetry forum</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> </span><u style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Conundrum of the Workshops</u><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: medium;">. </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><h4>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">When the flush of a new-born sun fell first on Eden's green and gold,<br />Our father Adam sat under the Tree and scratched with a stick in the mould;<br />And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his mighty heart,<br />Till the Devil whispered behind the leaves, "It's pretty, but is it Art ?"</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;"><br />Wherefore he called to his wife, and fled to fashion his work anew -<br />The first of his race who cared a fig for the first, most dread review;<br />And he left his lore to the use of his sons -- and that was a glorious gain<br />When the Devil chuckled "Is it Art ?" in the ear of the branded Cain.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;"><br />They fought & they talked in the North & the South, they talked & they fought in the West,<br />Till the waters rose on the pitiful land, and the poor Red Clay had rest -<br />Had rest till that dank blank-canvas dawn when the dove was preened to start,<br />And the Devil bubbled below the keel: "It's human, but is it Art ?"</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;"><br />They builded a tower to shiver the sky and wrench the stars apart,<br />Till the Devil grunted behind the bricks: "It's striking, but is it Art ?"<br />The stone was dropped at the quarry-side and the idle derrick swung,<br />While each man talked of the aims of Art, and each in an alien tongue.<br /></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">The tale is as old as the Eden Tree - and new as the new-cut tooth -<br />For each man knows ere his lip-thatch grows he is master of Art and Truth;<br />And each man hears as the twilight nears, to the beat of his dying heart,<br />The Devil drum on the darkened pane: "You did it, but was it Art ?"<br /></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">We have learned to whittle the Eden Tree to the shape of a surplice-peg,<br />We have learned to bottle our parents twain in the yolk of an addled egg,<br />We know that the tail must wag the dog, for the horse is drawn by the cart;<br />But the Devil whoops, as he whooped of old: "It's clever, but is it Art ?"<br /></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">When the flicker of London sun falls faint on the Club-room's green and gold,<br />The sons of Adam sit them down and scratch with their pens in the mould -<br />They scratch with their pens in the mould of their graves, and the ink and the anguish start,<br />For the Devil mutters behind the leaves: "It's pretty, but is it Art ?"<br /></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-weight: normal;">Now, if we could win to the Eden Tree where the Four Great Rivers flow,<br />And the Wreath of Eve is red on the turf as she left it long ago,<br />And if we could come when the sentry slept and softly scurry through,<br />By the favour of God we might know as much - as our father Adam knew!</span></h4>
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Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-57130116737665958412013-01-09T21:44:00.002-05:002013-01-09T21:44:21.756-05:00All Things PassI am inspired by the likes of Paul Robeson and Harry Belafonte. Harry was on Kojo Nnamdi today speaking about how Robeson inspired his activism, well before he became a known singer. He initially pursued celebrity and entertainment through acting. Robeson met with his theater cast and crew after a show and spoke about how one can influence the world in a positive way.<br />
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I am most inspired by those who find their way late in life, or after a series of dead-ends. Many of the people that inspire me in this way are my friends, in particular those who have had less than ideal childhoods. Some of these people are those examples I have read about in articles and heard on television. They give evidence that there is re-birth after difficulty. <br />
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Their stories say: keep going, keep trying, moments of possibility are always.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-width: 0px;" /></a> This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Flux Poeticahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16689643739018618767noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-12837874114907813402013-01-05T14:04:00.000-05:002020-08-12T19:34:07.984-04:00Taking Steps<br />
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My obsessive behaviors are bankrupt, and have bankrupted my work, body, mind and relationships. Some people have given up on me, but thankfully most await the return of a reliable and solvent me. I await and expect the return of a sober me.<br />
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I have overcome much already since leaving an oppressive and abusive childhood life. I have overcome clinical Depression, Anxiety Disorder, have come out to my friends and family in a caring and responsible way, graduated despite untreated anxiety and ADD, and in the last few years have won the battle to gain treatment for ADD, despite my periods where I had no health insurance, and there being a frequent lack of supply for the medication. I have also overcome my fear of paying bills/managing finances and I have a totally transformed view and behavior regarding them. I ended an abusive relationship, as well as unhealthy living conditions. I have gone through all these transformations and am now leagues beyond the fearful, hopeless, resentful person that left my Hoosier farmland home in 1998.<br />
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Surely this is evidence of my winning character, in addition to my good habits of self-improvement and learning.<br />
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Herewith, I present to myself the evidence of my true successful nature, and the foundation for overcoming this last great mental challenge.<br />
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<br />
In the midst of the economy of 2008,<br />
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Despite others not knowing how to help, or those who were decidedly unhelpful.<br />
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I have one<br />
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There are those who stand by my difficult side, despite my lack of reliability.<br />
I have noticed that many people desire constancy rather than a cornucopia of generosity, love, and "brilliance of relationship." wonder/ magic/joy/discovery<br />
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But I do have constancy, but it's a type of constancy not many people understand, enjoy, or appreciate.<br />
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This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2251499999563384879.post-72487677696613782682010-05-13T19:42:00.000-04:002020-08-12T19:34:08.077-04:00More than liberal and conservative.<div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Left versus Right; Liberal versus Conservative; Republican versus Democrat, with a dash of Independent or Tea Party somewhere along this bipolar continuum? </span><span class="content" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">One day we won't be a<b> bipolar nation</b>. Both sides can be divisive, but most social conservatives require divisiveness for their identity. They couldn't be themselves without it. It belongs to their developmental makeup or <i><a href="http://www.integralworld.net/wilpert0.html">meme</a></i> that includes competition, individuality and individual achievement, internal causation/ locus of control, individual responsibility over consensus, and a tendency to see society as a composed of strictly divided groups (race, religion, culture, politics) rather than an even playing field where differences might make a group stronger and more integrated (what I like to call Integral Strength). </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="content" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="content" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Wake up, friends, this is more than a question liberal and conservative, and as long as we continue to think there are only two political variables we are doomed to be a bipolar nation. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In reality there are (at least) 4 independent variables <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">Free</span></b> (Libertarian) and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Order</span> (Authoritarian) AS WELL AS Socially <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">Exclusive</span> (Conservative) and Socially <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime;">Inclusive</span> (Liberal).</span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.integralworld.net/wilpert0.html">Multidimensional</a>. That's reality. This explains my see-sawing between party affiliation and the/my typical Milliennial tendency to feel neither of the two major parties are particularly attractive. Personally I hope the disillusionment of the Millennials will persist and create a richer variety in dialogue. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I think that a rise of four parties might be potentially destabilizing, although it could work just as most parliamentarian coalition - building works. But I believe it would be constructive to use better vocabulary <b>to name </b>the <a href="http://www.integralworld.net/wilpert0.html">reality of these four variables</a>, because it would make polarizing and demonizing language a degree more difficult, thus causing dialogue to stretch and grow beyond the traditional name calling.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">To qualify that, I'd like to observe more debates in existing multi-party systems.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nolan_Chart">Nolan Chart</a> is an early fore-runner of the multidimensional, which arranges the quadrants according to level of freedom, thus putting libertarianism at "the top," which suits the libertarian author. The idea of libertarianism is a sweet and utopian one, however. Given that humans have strong vices (drives to better themselves at the detriment of others) such as greed, revenge, vigilantism, spite, lust, etc, I think it is useful that we come to terms with a limit to certain freedoms to commit those crimes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hobbes says in the second part of his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobbes'_Leviathan">Leviathan</a>: "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">The purpose of a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #0645ad; text-decoration: none;" title="Commonwealth">commonwealth</a> is given at the start of Part II: <i>THE final cause, end, or design of men (who naturally love liberty, and dominion over others) in the introduction of that restraint upon themselves, in which we see them live in Commonwealths, is the foresight of their own preservation, and of a more contented life thereby; that is to say, of getting themselves out from that miserable condition of war which is necessarily consequent, as hath been shown, to the natural passions of men when there is no visible power to keep them in awe, and tie them by fear of punishment to the performance of their covenants…</i>.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.4em;">The commonwealth is instituted when all agree in the following manner: <i>I authorise and give up my right of governing myself to this man, or to this assembly of men, on this condition; that thou give up, thy right to him, and authorise all his actions in like manner."</i></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And thus we have a society and government.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What do you think?</span><br />
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</div><div></div><a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nd/3.0/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0;" /></a> This work is licensed under a <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/" rel="license">Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License</a>.Timo Freemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06519557928575528893noreply@blogger.com0